Those were the prophetic parting words of Dr. Stephanie L. W*** - Nobel-prize winning author, two time Oscar-winner, philanthropist and adventurer - who died Thursday, December 23, 2053 after a valiant battle with cholera.
Dr. Ware, 86, was born in 1967 in San Mateo, California. The daughter of a wealthy Yugoslavian diplomat, Sir Wallace Herald, and an accomplished concert pianist, Nancy M. S***, she was raised on the S*** family compound in Berkeley, California. At two-years of age, Herald enrolled her in an experimental school run by the University of California, Berkeley, where she tested into the second grade. By age ten, she had graduated, with honors, from the university's high school program and left the Bay Area for Stanford. Her first degree, in Biology, was achieved by her 14th birthday.
"She was a remarkable mind," said Dr. Hibble VonStrouden, professor of
Microbiology at Stanford University, in a statement Monday. "In my life
I've met few adults with the maturity, the vision and the intellectual
acuity of this child. If she suffered from any personality faults at all, it was her
seemingly boundless curiosity and a restlessness I've come to associate
with great genius." It was this restlessness that may have contributed to a series of unfortunate events shortly after her graduation from Stanford in 1981. While in her junior year, she joined a group of fellow students in opening a chapter of PETA, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, on the Stanford campus. "We weren't your garden variety, California, pick-a-cause liberals," explained Dr. Sylvia Bernard, a fellow Stanford PETA member and lifetime friend of Dr. W***. "We had a goal in mind. Steph was passionate about animals and we thought it would be a good, social thing for her to be involved in, even though we were all several years older. We didn't actually think she would do any more than attend meetings. I enjoyed her company, though many of the other members seemed to resent her presence. We were unable to conduct meetings at Sherry's [a local pub of the day] and had to watch our language."
Over the next two years, activism became the center of young Dr. W***'s life. "After a few months, even those who disliked Steph began to listen to her suggestions. She had a good sense of organization and an even better sense of how to protest with the greatest impact. I started to worry about her a little bit. She had a charismatic demeanor that hid, and I think hid well, a growing distaste for the human race. God knows, I didn't think Stanford needed to produce yet another academic misanthrope," explained Bernard
In September of 1981, W***, along with two associates, disappeared from the Stanford area. The S*** family mounted a lengthy and expensive search, which succeeded in tracking W***'s movements over the next two years but not in her return home. Her group, calling themselves "The Animal Liberation Army", was responsible for military-style attacks on furriers, loggers and various other anti-environmental groups across the western United States. The bombing of a fur-trapper's encampment outside of Glacier Park, Montana, the spiking of trees in an old-growth section of forest in southern Oregon and a heated demonstration against the beef industry, which resulted in two deaths and many injuries, on the University of Illinois campus in Chicago were among the activities attributed to Ware's group. In 1983, W*** was arrested outside Kalispell, Montana at a S*** family summer home called Kootenai Lodge. Charged with aggravated assault on a police officer and resisting arrest, she spent two months in the local all-girl's juvenile lock-up in Canyon City, Colorado, after which she returned to Berkeley.
"That time in jail seemed to change her. In the aftermath of the experience, she seemed edgier ... stir-crazy," comments Tadruda Din, the S*** family's groundskeeper at the time. "She spent a lot of time out in the garden, staring at the water. I made several more waterfalls for her. She looked so sad. Then she discovered television."
"She was obsessive about it," says Din. "But I suppose it came out ok. She watched so many movies that it started her writing them. I remember her saying that they weren't doing it right. Then she'd type and type and no one could talk to her anymore." She finished the Oscar-winning script for "Sweet Silence Beckons" in late 1984. The story of a young girl's descent into madness after witnessing the death of her nanny, baby brother and Great Dane, Sal, the script was immediately purchased by Columbia Pictures and went into production later that year with critically acclaimed director Alan Smithee at the helm. It won seven Oscars in 1986: Original Screenplay (W***), Director (Alan Smithee) and a historical win for twins George (Best Actor) and Georgina (Best Actress) Spelvin, among others. W***'s acceptance speech is still fondly remembered. Looking down at the statuette in her hand, she said thoughtfully, "Thanks. No, I mean that. You are, undoubtedly, the strangest group of people I've ever hung around with and my time among you has been both interesting and educational. Now that I have one of your little trinkets, I'll slip quietly back into academia where, no doubt, people will find me quite a lot less obscure."
Two years later, she published the novel "Mister Alidonte's Travels in Crete", which won the Nobel prize in Literature in 1986. Another Oscar, this time best actress for her standout performance in Stanley Kubrick's "Last Dance", was awarded to W*** in 1988, at the age of 21. During this time, she also finished a PhD in Zooarchaeology at the University of Chicago, and met her future husband, Sean Patrick W***.
In 1990, Dr. W*** plunged into a new career when she bought the Chicago Bulls sports franchise and became owner and general manager. "She was more than any player could ask for. She was my best friend," said Michael Jordan, retired Chicago Bull (1990-1998). "I never was that close to any of my managers before. I'm glad I had my best play with her watching over me." Many other former Chicago Bulls expressed similar feelings at the private memorial service held Wednesday in Chicago. The city honored Dr. W*** with a bronze statue, placed next to Michael Jordan's in front of the United Center. "It couldn't be more fitting. We all want to remember this great lady and that time long ago when Chicago had a team to be proud of," said a teary-eyed Jordan.
Dr. and Mr. W*** married in 1998 after a very long engagement. They became famous over the next 55 years as philanthropists, inventors and world-travelers. "She dated a lot of men, even at her young age. God, she was an ethereal beauty, really. Captivating, intelligent and so funny," says Mr. W***, CEO of the multi-million dollar software company, S-Ware. "I was shy around her, you know? I mean, how do you ask a woman out who has dated men like Robert DeNiro? I mean, I was no small potatoes, mind you. I already had my first million. I'm glad I asked her, though. She was the love of my life. She was the only woman for me. Although, to be fair, she was a bit odd.
In 2010, Dr. and Mr. W*** published an award-winning and breathtakingly beautiful coffee-table book which detailed their 2007-2009 trip through the Congo. In 2015, they left Chicago for Madagascar where they worked with Field Museum of Natural History, Chicago researchers attempting to count a number of bird species thought to be on the brink of extinction. Upon their return, in 2021, the Wares donated a substantial amount of money to the Field Museum and to Zombitse National Park in Madagascar.
"Ah, the things we've seen together. I'm a lucky man to have known her and I miss her deeply," said W***, Tuesday.
Thursday, at a private memorial in New York, fellow authors joined to pay their respects. "She got me. She really got me," commented author James Ellroy at the end of his long and edgy eulogy. "Her sense of the macabre fascinated me. This lady, feminine and pretty and kind, had a dark reservoir in her heart, which frankly, at times scared me," said author Stephen King , during his touching tribute.
The W***'s gave much of their fortune to animal related causes over the years, and donations in Dr. W***'s honor have poured into the Humane Society from across the country. "We have lost a great lady. I hope we can keep her spirit alive in every cat, dog and lizard saved," said the National Humane Society President Marge Q. Brennemeyer.
Dr. W*** is survived by her husband, Sean Patrick W***.
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