[Note from Steph regarding her short-lived Daily News email: Every 
morning, I would read the newspaper while I ate breakfast.  I noted, over 
time, that many of my friends were not doing the same and were, in fact, 
shocked at much of the news I was reporting when we'd meet up for beers.   
After repeated attempts to talk people into buying their /own/ newspapers,  
and an equal number of failures, I decided to read the paper at my  
computer desk and simply type little notes about anything I thought might  
be important to know.  I sent the first one out to about 5 people, mostly  
at Sean's office (a small ISP).  They sent it to other people in the  
office and friends, they sent it to others, etc...  By the last column, my  
readership had grown to nearly 100 people and my inbox was flooded with  
requests to add folks to the horror-scope, etc...  In full slacker  
tradition, I immediately became bored with the entire project and stopped  
it cold.  I never did it again, even though people asked me to from time  
to time.  Anyway, read away.  Some of it people outside that time and  
place won't understand as it is chock full of in-jokes.  98% of it is  
snide.]


		Your Daily News: Tuesday, April 7, 1998


-- Tammy Wynette died yesterday of a supposed blood clot. Ole' hound dogs, 
beat-up pick-up trucks and cowboys lament.

-- It wasn't enough that the Treasury Dept. had to redesign and ruin 
perfectly good $100 and $50 dollar bills, now they are starting on $20's.  
Perhaps the Treasury Dept. should do something constructive and help the 
president balance the budget or something.  I mean, if they are bored and 
have nothing to do we can all find busy work for them.

-- For the first time, women bought more music than men last year.
Industry insiders chalk this up to:  The Spice Girls, Hansen and Elton
John's hit single "Candle in the Wind".  I don't know about Beth, but as a
woman, I am offended.

-- Leonardo DiCaprio's relatives come from Trentola Ducenta, Italy.  His
paternal great-great-grandmother, Angela Giuseppe, was known for her rare
blond hair and beauty.  This was on page 2 of one of the largest and most 
prestigious newspapers in the world.

-- Hotel Allegro Chicago will sell 1,000 hotel room nights at $100.00 and
donate the proceeds to the Gallery 37 arts job-training program.  

-- Sexual behavior (self-stimulation and exhibitionism) in young children
is perfectly normal and does not necessarily mean they've been molested.
Phew.

-- The current fad of the net is baseball web sites.  Along with the
Treasury Department, perhaps Tom Seymour needs more to do as well.

-- Speilberg's next project is a film about Charles Lindbergh.

-- There will be /no/ Lollapalooza this summer.  I repeat.  NO
LOLLAPALOOZA.

-- "Six Degrees of Separation" is playing at the Raven Theatre on Clark.
It comes highly recommended.

-- More people are getting out of the military by declaring they are
homosexual.  Defense Secretary William Cohen said Monday that he denies
there has been an increase in sexual harassment and that the military's
policy on homosexuals is working properly.  Maybe the Treasury Dept can
take over for William Cohen.

-- James Cameron may have closed a deal which will restore much of his
participation in the film "Titanic".  Cameron's going rate for
'participation' is nearly $100 million.

-- University of Washington researchers who studied 130 newlywed couples
for six years found the key to successful marriage is for the man to do
what the woman tells him to do.  Um, yeah? ;)

-- The NEC Research Institute estimates that if you were to go on the
Internet today and press the print button for the whole thing (is that
"print the whole internet" button anywhere near the "home" key?) you had
better be standing by with 320 million pieces of paper.  Thought:  Maybe
the trees will stop killing celebrities on ski holidays if we let 
them know how many lives have been spared by the internet?

-- QT's summer consumer alert for the day:  Betty Robins of Albany GA.,
put an air-freshener on her dashboard, went into a department store and
came back to find at least 2000 bees on her car.

-- Experts on the Ice Age inform us that the picture of women
cave-persons as helpless gatherers is wrong.  It is likely that women
were the major force in hunting by using nets to snare rabbits and birds.
This was, presumably, while the men cave-persons were out drinking beer.
Oh, and since when do we have to be PC towards cave-persons?

-- Jerry Springer, whose Chicago-based syndicated talk show shot to the
top of the ratings by encouraging fistfights amoung guests, has been
forced to tone down the violence.  In related news, Rikki Lake has been
asked to tone down her shrill voice, Sally Jesse her glasses and Oprah her
moral superiority.

-- In an April Fool's Joke gone wrong, DJ of the morning show on WEXT-FM
in Kenosha got in trouble for saying the city's water supply was
contaminated, causing panic amoung Kenosha citizens.

-- School administrators and parent groups are worried that children are
watching "South Park".  Doug Herzog, Comedy Central's top exec has this
advice for parents:  "Put them to bed"

-- Scorsese is in the process of making a television show, probably based
on "Goodfellas" author Nicholas Pileggi's scripts.  

-- Too many dog biscuits can make a dog overly thirsty.

-- Motorola's profits have fallen 50 percent as the company failed to stem
slowing sales of computer chips in the face of increased competition and
economic slowdown in Asia.

-- The CEO of Tandy Inc will be stepping down.  Tandy is the owner of
Arby's and Radio Shack.  Maybe the new management won't get their products
mixed up anymore.

-- Alert:  According to Sean's Horrorscope, he is having a "3" day.  John
K. and Beth are both, however, having "9" days.  I guess you all know who
to pair up with at lunch now.

-- Walther Lutheran whipped the Illiana Christian's men's tennis team.
Again?!?

-- X-rays and CT scans of the sore left foot of Northwestern wide receiver
D'Wayne Bates could not determine why the Wildcats star continues to feel
discomfort.  Until the reason is found, the case of pain pills he has been
asking for should wait.

-- The Portland Trailblazers kicked San Antonio's ass last night

-- Clyde Drexler is retiring.  A moment of silence, please.

-- The White Sox still suck today.

-- The Cubs do not suck yet.

-- In extremely local news:  My father was not in the obituary column.

Have a nice day.  Stay informed.

....Steph