Your Daily News: 4/15/98


Daily Headline

-- "Ameritech to eliminate 5,000 Jobs".

Your City Government at Work

-- Feds are probing possible public corruption and violations of
racketeering law that may involve construction contracts at O'Hare
Airport.  
-- Arlington Heights' longtime director of public works was fired Tuesday,
a day after he was charged with having more than 10,000 sexually explicit
pictures of  children on two village-owned computers.  Give a city worker
an internet connection, what do you /think/ they are going to do?
--  A 35-year tradition of handshake agreements between Lake County and a
local family to farm 100 acres of public land came to an end Tuesday when
the county board stood by an earlier vote to open the land to the highest
bidder.  Better get out your checkbook Ma and Pa Kettle, it's the 90's now.

Traffic Update

-- In an obscure news report regarding the elderly male retiree who mowed
down joggers on the Oak Street Beach bike path yesterday, a dog was
mentioned in the list of possible hitees.  This has been confirmed.  The
dog, a year-old Rottweiler named Zeus, was side-swiped but is in excellent
condition.
-- Within two years, a bicycle path could stretch from Park Forest to
Kankakee under a $6 million plan approved by the Will County Forest
Preserve District.  With any hope, it will not be near any retirement
communities.

The Net

-- The Church of England will put a "virtual chapel" on the internet in
June.  People can pray within a computer-generated church with pews,
stained glass windows and an alter.  Readings will be changed each day.
Bored parishoners have the option of beta-testing the new game "Alter Boy 
Massacre" during sermons for a nominal fee.

-- "HIGH SPEED INTERNET GOES NATIONAL".  A new high-speed internet, which
is already operating in Chicago, got a boost Tuesday from three companies
that will contribute technology to expand the system nationally.  The new
network will be restricted largely to academics and other professional
researchers.  There's no way -- and none planned -- to let home users dial
into the network.  Organizers say that it can transmit the contents of the
30-volume Encyclopedia Brittanica in one second.  Chicago "has developed
the larges Internet hub in the country" according to Ameritech (who just
laid off all its operators to hire on sys admins). 

Naperville and Kenosha, 1950

--  Midwest headquarters for Sears' catalogs will begin construction this
summer and will stand as Naperville's second-largest building.

Health Watch

-- Sixteen postal workers at the Evanston post office have tested positive
for tuberculosis.  

The Educational Front

-- A recent survey says that medical residents feel they are abused during
residency.  Abuse  complaints include:  slapping, kicking, hitting, and
sexual harassment.  More disturbing are the patient abuse sightings.
Seventy percent of the residents report having seen abuse of patients
ranging from misinforming patients to using comatose patients for pain
reaction demonstrations.  Just in case you were planning on going into a
coma this week, food for thought.

Humbert Humbert Syndrome -or- Teachers:  0 / Sexy Teens:  4

-- An Evanston Township High School teacher has been charged with having
sex with a 14-year-old student five times in his Roger's Park apartment.
-- In an unprecedented move, Austrian Cardinal Hans Hermann has chosen
exile and relinquishing all duties and privileges in the Roman Catholic
Church as  punishment for sexually abusing young boys. 

The Literary World

-- Chicago joined the growing number of cities demanding that Merriam
Webster Inc., take out or change the definition of a derogatory term for
African Americans.  As it stands, the definition is:  Ni**** [obviously,
this is spelled out but I find I cannot even type it]:  a black person --
usually taken to be offensive.
There is hope for us yet.  
Ban the dictionary.  

Business

-- As of 2am Monday morning, Bank One and First Chicago have merged.

Sports

-- The Bulls play the Pistons in Detroit tonight, Channel 9 at 7pm
--  The Blackhawks play the Toronto Maple Leafs in Toronto, Fox Sports
Center at 6:30pm

QT

-- "Martha Stewart is liming her lawn as you read this"

Crime and Punishment

--  John Hinkley has been denied his bid for occasional freedom after he
admitted overwhelming infatuation with his hospital pharmacist.

Holidays We Should Definitely Have Days Off For

-- This is National Egg Salad Week
-- There are 87 days until National Nude Recreation Week, the start of
which coincides with World Population Day.

Arts and Entertainment

-- Do your best to catch BBC1's airing of the Ruby Wax talk show, special
guest O.J. Simpson.  Simpson told Wax that he had a surprise for her, a
little joke, that he would pull at the end of the interview.  Apparently,
Simpson thought it was funny to mimic stabbing Wax -- with a banana.  Wax 
was stunned.  During the interview, OJ tells Wax that, "The availability 
of women now is more than ever in my life, which I find strange."  Later, 
he goes on to explain that although he is innocent, "Everyone is capable 
of murder."  Let's hope OJ's girlfriends have a better sense of humor than 
Wax, Nicole Brown and Ronald Goldman.

-- Michael Jackson is planning both an album with Luciano Pavarotti and a
possible move to a castle in Bavaria.  As if he couldn't get any stranger.

-- The Artist Formerly Known as Prince will be playing a hush-hush concert
thursday at the Aragon.

Television:

-- South Park, Drew Carey, Ally McBeal, and Walker Texas Ranger are reruns
tonight.  3rd Rock, Dharma and Greg, Beverly Hills 90210, Star Trek
Voyager, and Tool TV are new episodes.
-- Letterman has Michael Richards.  Leno has Tyra Banks and Jay Mohr.
Snyder has Bill Murray.  Conan has William Shatner.  Politically Incorrect
pits filmmaker Michael Moore, musician Rita Coolidge, author Gerald Posner
and actor Peter Scolari against each other.
-- TNT, 8pm.  Elvis Costello, Sheryl Crow and Dionne Warwick pay tribute
to Burt Bacharach.

Birthdays

-- Emma Thompson, 39
-- Mick's wife Mari and John K. are coming up.

Lunch Partners

-- Mick is having a "2" day.
--  Sean should have lunch with children and step-children who "should be
showing their appreciation about now"
--  Beth may have success asking a Leo for money today.
--  John K. needs to examine various aspects of his career and update his
fashion awareness.

Discussion Topic of the Day

-- Recently the Chicago sports world has added another family member.  The
WNBA has come to Chicago.  Slated is a contest to name the new women's
basketball team.  In keeping with Chicago's bovine basketball theme, I 
nominate the "Chicago Cuds"  

On Sale

--  $98.00 for round trip tickets to Traverse City, MI on American
Airlines.
--   Rainwear for Her, 25% off at Lord and Taylor
--   Decorative Security Doors, free with purchase of 7 windows during
Fedlco's Get Ready For Summer Sale.
--   Coconut Flavored Malibu Rum, $10.99 @ Foremost Liquor Stores where
you Pay Less...Get More.

Obituaries

--  My father still wasn't in the obituaries.

And that's your news for the day.  Stay Informed.

.....Steph